And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Matthew 19:4-6.

Again, do you think that we excuse ourselves to you? We speak before God in Christ. But we do all things, beloved, for your edification. For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults; lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced. - 2 Corinthians 12:19-21.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:1-8.

In Britain, a very upset man made what he thought was an emergency call to the police. He dialed "999” furiously and demanded urgent help, because his wife was too busy decorating to cook dinner! The man actually told the emergency operator, "My wife's left me with two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night, and I'm sat in the chair here, and she's out there decorating. She won't put any food on or anything for anybody." The man was told that it really wasn’t an emergency because his wife wouldn’t cook dinner.

It may be, that this was not the first time that the man in Britain had demanded his dinner. We have to wonder if he is always demanding something from his wife, and the point has finally been reached where she no longer responds to his demands. It is difficult enough for marriages to survive, even when both the husband and the wife are working to make it succeed. But when one spouse, the husband or the wife, is not making any effort, it spells disaster for the relationship. Of course, some marriages continue on in name only like the one in Britain appears to be, while others are officially dissolved in divorce court.

The apostle Paul is talking to Christians in general in the church at Cornith, but he could have been talking to married couples. What he says is just as necessary in the marriage relationship. For a marriage to survive and thrive, the "contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults" must be overcome and put aside. The husband and the wife are to become one. When a spouse is contentious, jealous, wrathful, selfish, backbiting etc. toward the other, it is simply hurting themselves. It is like stabbing yourself in the back to be hateful and hurtful toward your spouse.

For the marriage to thrive, there must be this ability to overlook little slights and hurts. Instead of repaying pain for pain, hurt for hurt, we must instead give love (1 Corinthians 13). Love has a way of overcoming the problems, the difficulties, and the frustrations that arise in a relationship. Without that kind of love, an overcoming love that loves no matter what, the relationship is doomed to failure.

If your marriage has devolved, into something similar to the one in Britain or worse, it is time for a time out. Ask your pastor or a marriage counselor to referee, while the issues that have accumulated over the years can be addressed. Remember your spouse is not the enemy. He or she is you, because you both are one, in the eyes of God. It is in the best interests of both the husband and the wife to sort things out, renew their love, and move forward with life.